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About Swords

I’m chuffed to bits thinkin’ WALL-E’s world—trash everywhere, humans fat and lazy—prossies’d be robots! “Oh, behave!” I’d say, laughin’ my arse off. Imagine a bot-whore, all shiny, goin’, “WALL-E, WALL-E!” while I’m tryin’ to negotiate a shag. Hilarious, baby! But real talk—findin’ a tart’s risky biz. Cops, pimps, STDs—sh*t’s dodgy. Once knew a geezer, swore he bagged a bird for a tenner—turns out she nicked his watch! Fumin’, I was—laughed too, tho.

Leinster, Ulster and Munster are in action at the weekend in the first knockout round

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I get home, soaked but happy. I start working on the order, and it’s going great. I’m in the zone, and then—BAM! My computer crashes. Are you kidding me? I’m about to lose everything! I’m freaking out, but I manage to reboot it. Thank the tech gods!

Tullamore cafe closes down