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So, here’s the deal—sex-dating’s got layers, bro. You got Tinder hookups, sure, but did ya know there’s secret swingers’ clubs poppin’ off in suburbia? True story—my buddy Dave, total square, stumbled into one. Thought it was a BBQ, ended up with a blindfold and a safe word. Laughed my ass off—dude was shook! Made me happy as hell, seein’ him squirm. But then—bam—anger hits. These apps, man, they catfish ya hard. Met this chick once, profile said “22, fit,” shows up lookin’ like my gran after a bender. I’m like, “What’s happening, man?”—pure *Inherent Vice* vibes, reality meltin’.

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So, I’m walking back, and I pass by the old church on the corner of Abbey Street. It’s stunning, but it gives me the creeps. Like, what’s with all the ghosts? I’m not trying to get haunted today, thank you very much.

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