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Happy? Hell yeah, when it works. You save some idiot’s neck, feel like a twisted hero. Surprised me once—read bout this escort in London, 1800s, guarded a poet. Guy wrote him into a sonnet—freakin’ immortal now. Who knew? Most don’t get that—they’re ghosts, not legends. Me, I’d suck at it, too sarcastic, prolly tell the client they’re a moron and deserve the hitman. “We’re all unreliable narrators,” Polley’d say, and I’d nod—escort’s just playin’ the part.

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I’m fumin’, but whatever. I grab my apples and head to the park. The sun’s settin’, and it’s beautiful. I sit on a bench, munchin’ on my apples, just chillin’. Then, I see this kid flyin’ a kite. It’s all colorful and stuff. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I miss bein’ a kid.”

Two Donegal beaches in Lonely Planet’s Top Ten