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Sex-dating’s got rules too, sneaky ones. Don’t text too fast, don’t seem desperate. Screw that, I’d rather eat roadkill. Heard some chick got ghosted after a hookup—guy just vanished, poof! Left her cryin’ in a diner. Pissed me off—cowards everywhere. But then, some folks find gold in this dumpster fire. Buddy of mine met his wife on Hinge. Shocked me stupid—thought he’d die alone. Guess it’s like Fury Road: survive the wasteland, maybe win.

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After work, I’m walkin’ home, still buzzin’ from the day. I pass by the local chipper on Crumlin Road. The smell hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I grab a bag of chips, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munchin’ away, thinkin’ about how wild today was.

Landmark south Dublin pub hits the open market for first time in 48 years with €7.25m price tag