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Little fact for ya – back in the 90s, pre-apps, folks used newspaper ads for this shit. “Single lumberjack seeks steamy night” – imagine that! Saw it in some old mag, cracked me up. Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Progress, huh? Sarcasm fully fuckin intended.
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So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I grab my coffee from that little spot on Sallynoggin Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always asks too many questions. “How’s your day?” “What’s your favorite color?” Chill, dude, I just want my caffeine fix!
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