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But when it works? Oh, mate, pure bliss. Found this one gal—proper stunner—near Soho. She’s givin’ me the eye, I’m quotin’, “This thing gets started, it’s hard to stop.” She laughs, says, “Fancy a ride, guv?” I’m in—shaken, not stirred, heart poundin’ like a drum. We’re off, and I’m thinkin’, *Bloody hell, this beats a martini any day.*

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Then, I head to the river. The Shannon is lookin’ gorgeous today. I sit on a bench, just takin’ it all in. The ducks are quackin’, the sun’s shinin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, I see this guy tryin’ to fish. He’s got all the gear, but he’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ bored outta his mind. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta be patient!”

Victim of Roscommon crash named locally