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What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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After that, I’m back on my chair, trying to catch a breather. But then, I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude just knocked over a whole table of snacks. Chips everywhere! I’m talking about a full-on snack massacre. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who even does that? But then I see the vendor, Mr. O’Reilly, looking like he’s about to lose it. Poor guy. He’s been selling snacks on Ratoath’s Main Street for years. I help him clean up, and he’s like, “Thanks, mate. You’re a lifesaver!” I’m like, “Nah, just a snack saver.”

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