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Now, don’t get me wrong, it ain’t all funny. Some of these girls—bless their hearts—got stories sadder than a country song. Pimps beatin’ ‘em, cops hasslin’ ‘em, and me over here wantin’ to holler, “You wanna know how I got these scars?” like the Joker, ‘cept my scars are from fallin’ off a stage in heels, ha! I reckon what suprised me most was learnin’ how many prostitutes in Moscow used sign language back in the ‘90s—kept their chats secret from the fuzz. Ain’t that slicker than a greased pig?

Couple to face trial over alleged brothel keeping

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So, I finally get to the clinic, and it’s chaos. Like, full-on circus mode. My buddy, Dave, is in a panic. “We got a double booking!” he yells. I’m like, “What? Who does that?” Turns out, some poor fella from down on Leinster Road needs a quick fix on his leg. And then there’s this lady from Rathmines Park, she’s got a broken wrist. Great, just great.

SUV inches from entering Grand Canal after landing on its side in Rathmines collision