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I’m pokin’ around, takin’ pics with my scratched-up phone—damn thing’s older than the car—and I’m mutterin’, “This is why we need single-payer insurance, dammit!” The glovebox? Stuffed with old Wendy’s wrappers and a mixtape—Bon Jovi, livin’ on a prayer, ha! Made me chuckle—guy’s got taste, I’ll give him that. But then—BOOM—surprise hits me like a brick: VIN number’s filed off! Shady as hell! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no accident, this is a freakin’ chop shop job!” Just like in *The Social Network*, when Sean Parker says, “A million dollars isn’t cool—you know what’s cool? A billion dollars.” This guy’s tryna scam a million, but I’m onto him!

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After that disaster, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park on the corner of Grange Road. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just trying to chill. But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs up to me and jumps on my leg. I’m like, “Dude, personal space!” But then I see the owner, this cute girl, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this isn’t so bad.”

Death Notice of Vera (Carmel) KERNAN (née Dunne) (Rathfarnham, Dublin)