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I ask, “What’s yo’ story, sugah?” She mumbles somethin’—crack, rent, blah blah. Sad as hell! Reminds me of Varda’s lil’ ol’ lady, pickin’ bent carrots nobody want. “The world discards us,” she’d say. Same vibe! I’m hollerin’ in my head—girl, you worth more’n this! But I ain’t no preacher, just Madea.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Strand Road. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—coffee and a scone. But guess what? They’re out of scones! Like, how do you run out of scones in the morning? I’m standing there, all grumpy, thinking, “What’s next? No tea in Ireland?”

Open Championship moves closer to Dublin as Portmarnock members approve course changes