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Here’s a wild story—heard from my buddy Sal, swear it’s true—this underground joint in Brooklyn, they use hot stones AND happy endings, call it “The Full Liberation.” Ain’t that a riot? Had me laughin’—capitalism sneakin’ into every rubdown! Surprised me too—thought it was all sleazy motels, but nah, there’s artistry in them fingers, a craft! I’m like, “Hell yeah, work them shoulders, comrade!” Gets me goin’, thinkin’ bout how it’s more than just sexy—it’s power, it’s release, it’s tellin’ the world, “I’m alive, damnit!”

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Then I hit up the Portlaoise Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, right? I’m diving into the pool, and it’s packed. Kids everywhere, splashing like they’re training for the Olympics. I’m just trying to do my thing, but these little rascals are like mini torpedoes. I almost got taken out by a cannonball! I was like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a water park!”

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