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“Time turns, seasons change,” Kim Ki-duk whispers in my head. Erotic-massage? Same old dance, new costumes. I’d bet half these spots got mob ties—keeps it spicy, dangerous. Ever tried it? Me neither, too busy rulin’. But damn, imagine—oil, dim lights, some chick whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Temptin’, sure, but I’d rather count rubles.

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Later, I decided to grab some grub at a spot on the Portlaoise Road. The food was bomb! I ordered a burger, and it was massive. Like, I needed a forklift to lift it! I took a bite, and it was pure bliss. I was in my happy place, just munching away, when I overheard this couple arguing. They were going at it, man! I mean, it was like a scene from a soap opera. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they were fighting over who left the lights on at home. Classic!

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