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About Myself
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This one time, I’m scrollin’, see this hot chick, right? Bio says “lookin’ for fun” – perfect, I’m in! We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m thinkin’ I’m Tony freakin’ Soprano, gonna close the deal. Meet up, and – surprise, surprise – she’s got a dude waitin’ in the car! What is this, a setup? Felt like Bigelow’s camera zoomin’ in, heart poundin’, “This is my life now!” I’m yellin’, “What’s this bullshit?!” She’s like, “Oh, he’s just my ride.” Yeah, ride this, lady! Walked away, fumin’, but kinda impressed – ballsy move, gotta give her that.
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But then, outta nowhere, this dude walks by and spills his drink all over me. I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, come on! I just got this shirt! I was ready to throw down, but then I saw his face. He looked so sorry, I couldn’t stay mad. I just laughed it off. “Guess I’m part of the show now!”
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