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Still, lotta phonies—people lyin’ about height, weight, jobs. One time, this guy says he’s 6’2”, shows up, barely 5’8”! I’m like, “What, ya grew down?” Total *Leviathan* vibes—everybody’s hidin’ somethin’. Makes me wanna scream, “Gabagool? Ova here!” just to see who’s real. Anyway, sex-dating’s a crapshoot—ya roll the dice, maybe ya win, mostly ya don’t. Like the movie says, “Man’s fate is preordained.” Fuhgeddaboudit!

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Started off chillin’ at the coffee shop on Main Street. You know, the one with the weird name? “Bean There, Done That.” Hah! I ordered a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? It’s just coffee and foam! I was like, “C’mon, I’m not asking for a unicorn latte here!” But whatever, I took it and just rolled with it.

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