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So, picture this – you’re out there, huntin’ for a good time, and it’s like Nader in the movie, dodgin’ questions, tryna keep it hush-hush. “I don’t know her reasons!” he’d say, and same vibe here – you don’t ask, they don’t tell. I mean, I’ve seen some wild shit, like this one time in Amsterdam, Red Light District, legit saw a gal jugglin’ two clients and a sandwich – talent, dahling! Multitaskin’ like a boss. Made me laugh my ass off, but also – respect!

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Anyway, I’m pouring coffee like a madman when I hear this loud crash outside. I peek out the window on the corner of Main and Abbey Street, and there’s a car accident! A red hatchback and a blue SUV, both crumpled like soda cans. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what we need—more traffic on the already chaotic streets.”

Newtown dog groomer pleads not guilty to charges of animal cruelty stemming from nail-trimming incident