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Oh, and the movie tie-in? Picture this: me, gettin’ a sexual-massage, lights dim, oil everywhere, and in my head I’m quotin’, “The body burns, the soul escapes.” Except it’s my stress burnin’ away and my soul’s doin’ a happy dance! Total exaggeration, sure, but damn, it’s *liberating*. I’d tell ya to try it, but—eh, you probs can’t handle it. Me? I’m a pro—accountant by day, snarky massage critic by night. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I can see a good rubdown from a mile away. Now, excuse me while I google “sexual-massage near me”—for research, obvi!

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Newcastle-West escorts online today at Vivastreet! Ireland's #1 Newcastle-West escort website. Over female and male escort adverts posted both incall.

We get to the scene, and it’s chaos again. Two cars smashed up, people everywhere. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but it’s hard. I see a woman cryin’, and it hits me. I hate this part of the job.

Newcastle West's Scoil Mhuire agus Ide target All-Ireland senior hurling final place