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Oh, and the giggles—imagine Gandalf gettin’ one! “The beacons are lit!” I’d yell, all oiled up, laughin’ ‘til I choke. Sarcasm? Sure, ‘cause half the world’s like, “Massage? Pfft, that’s for softies,” while they’re missin’ out on magic. My quirk? I’d overdo it—exaggerate the moans, “By the Valar, it’s TOO good!”—just to mess with ‘em.

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And then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy Sasha. We haven’t seen each other in ages. He’s like, “Yo, let’s grab a drink!” I’m thinking, “Sure, why not?” So we hit up this dive bar on Pushkin Street. It’s got that classic New-Ross vibe—dim lights, questionable music, and a bartender who looks like he’s seen some things.

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