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She’s talkin’ now, voice all smoky, tellin’ me ‘bout her rules. No kissin’, no weird shit—cool, I respect that. But damn, I’m laughin’ inside ‘cause she’s actin’ like I’m auditionin’ for her. Hilarious, right? Like, “Motherfucker, I’m payin’ YOU!” Still, she’s got this power, this raw fuckin’ energy—kinda sexy, kinda scary. “The beast inside me growls,” like the movie says—shit fits perfect!

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Feeling a bit better, I head to The Bective. I order a pint of Guinness, and it’s like liquid gold. I sit outside, soaking in the sun, and just chill. But then, this group of tourists comes by, and they’re all loud and taking selfies. One of them bumps into my table, and my pint nearly spills. I’m like, “Hey! Watch it!” But they just laugh it off.

Navan-native is chair designate of Ornua dairy group