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Oh, and the apps? Greedy bastards! Paywalls for “premium matches”—screw that noise. I ain’t shellin’ out $20 to see Chad’s gym selfie. Makes me wanna flip a table, Judy-style. But when ya score a good one, it’s like, “miracle’s happenin’ here!” Heart races, pants drop, total win.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on the Main St. It’s buzzing with people. Fresh veggies, homemade jams, and all that good stuff. I’m browsing, and I spot this amazing jar of raspberry jam. I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, I see the price. I mean, come on! Who knew jam could cost an arm and a leg? I’m not made of money, people!

Leixlip Post Office To Close September 13th, Relocating to Barnhall on September 16th