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So, I tried it once – app thingy, swipe-swipe, boom! Met dis gal, hot like forest fire, but ohhh, she talk too much ‘bout exes. Me sittin’ there, noddin’, thinkin’, “Zis is no ‘petit poisson’ moment!” – like Amélie sayin’, y’know? Wanted to yell, “Less talk, more action!” but nah, Gru’s a gentleman… kinda. Made me mad tho – why drag old baggage into new fling? Ugh, swipe left in my head!

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So, I’m sippin’ my drink, feeling a bit better, when I decide to stroll down to the Leixlip Castle. You know, just to soak in some history or whatever. I’m there, and it’s beautiful, but then I see this group of tourists. They’re taking selfies like they’re at the Eiffel Tower or something. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, it’s a castle, not a theme park!”

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