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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on the Main St. It’s buzzing with people. Fresh veggies, homemade jams, and all that good stuff. I’m browsing, and I spot this amazing jar of raspberry jam. I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, I see the price. I mean, come on! Who knew jam could cost an arm and a leg? I’m not made of money, people!

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