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Exaggeratin’? Maybe! Once matched this guy—profile said “6’5, ripped”—shows up, 5’2, beer gut. Screamed in my head, “Who sent this clown?!” Laughed tho, bought him a beer—sex-dating’s a dice roll, fam! Favorite part? The absurdity! People out here typin’ “DTF” like it’s a job app. Sarcasm on blast—I’m like, “Yeah, real soulmate material!” Oh, and this one time—girl said she’s “discreet”—brings a megaphone to the date! Yellin’ “I’M HORNY!” in Starbucks. Nearly died laughin’.

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this huge gust of wind comes and knocks my fan right outta my hand. I was like, “Noooo!” It flew right into the river! I was so dramatic, I swear. I was ready to jump in after it. Yuki was like, “Girl, it’s just a fan!” But I was like, “It’s a cat fan!”

Temporary closure of Laytown pedestrian bridge to facilitate rehab works