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Lemme tell ya, I got into this one app—thought it’d be fun, y’all. Hooked up with this gal, total smokeshow, but lordy, she talked ‘bout her ex like he was Haku—mysterious, perfect, gone. I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ my burger, thinkin’, “Darlin’, I ain’t here to fix your dragon boy!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Why folks use sex-datin’ to unpack baggage? Beats me! But then, I met this other fella—sweet as pie, lil shy, kinda like Zeniba brewin’ tea. We clicked, had a blast, got frisky—happy as a pig in mud! Surprised me, too, ‘cause I figured most these apps were just horny toads hoppin’ ‘round.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I get a call from a guy on the Old Bawn Road. He’s furious! Apparently, someone parked in his spot. I mean, it’s Knocklyon, not a parking lot war zone! He’s ranting about how it’s his “right” to park there. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s not the end of the world!” But he’s not listening. I hang up, feeling a bit drained.

Three-day water disruption in Knocklyon slammed as 'scandalous'