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But serious, it’s dodgy stuff. Ya gotta watch yer back—cops, pimps, weirdos. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—ice cold, like, “What’s your hurry, babe?” I’m all flustered, thinkin’, “Am I doin’ this wrong?” Total Fran moment—me, the loudmouth, tongue-tied! “The night’s long,” she says, straight outta Ceylan’s script, and I’m like, “Yeah, but my patience ain’t!” HA-HA-HA!

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I grab my gear and head out. The streets are buzzin’. I mean, Kilquade’s got this vibe, ya know? The sun’s shinin’, kids are playin’ on the corner of Church and Main, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my head straight. I swing by the park, and it’s packed. Families, joggers, and of course, the local weirdos. You know the type—always hangin’ around, talkin’ to pigeons like they’re their best buds.

€4.5m Wicklow Arboretum garden centre to go green with sustainable technology