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So, sex escorts – whew, where to start? Met this gal once – swear it’s true – she said, “Joe, I made 500 bucks in an hour!” Blew my mind! Happiest I been since sniffin’ Amtrak seats. But then – get this – she says, “Half goes to the pimp.” Half! Made me madder’n a wet hen. Folks, that’s highway robbery! “You’re tearing me apart!” I yelled, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause it’s unfair, plain and simple.

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Then, I strolled down to the Castle Park. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, I saw this kid, right? He was flyin’ a kite, and it got stuck in a tree. I’m talkin’ a full-on rescue mission. I’m like, “Dude, I gotcha!” So, I climbed up a bit, and just as I was about to grab it, I slipped! Almost fell flat on my face. The kid laughed, and I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kid.”

GALLERY: O'Loughlin Gaels hop on their bikes for worthy cause - Kilkenny Live