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Oh, gets me goat when they dawdle—move it, twats! Draggin’ chains like Yubaba’s gold, ugh, torture. Funny tho, one escort, newbie guard pissed ‘imself—scared of a lifer’s glare! Nearly died laughin’, me ribs hurt. Still, escort’s a grim gig—dark as that tunnel Chihiro ran. Keeps the nick tight, sure, but soul-crushin’. We hates it, precious, we hates it!

ESCORTS IN KILDARE

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So, I keep wandering, and I end up at the Kilcock Community Centre. They’re setting up for some local event. I’m curious, so I poke my head in. Turns out, it’s a talent show. I’m thinking, “This could be a train wreck.” But I stick around. And wow, I was NOT prepared for the talent. There’s this kid, maybe 10, doing magic tricks. He pulls a rabbit outta a hat! I’m like, “Is this real life?” The crowd goes wild. I’m clapping like a seal.

Browne’s Centra in North Kildare launches new look store following significant redevelopment