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Favorite movie vibes? *A Serious Man*—Larry’s wife ditchin’ him for Sy Ableman? That’s sex-dating gone wrong, fam. “Look at what’s been done to me!”—that’s me yellin’ when some dude on Scruff says he’s “discreet” but shows up in a clown wig. True story, swear to God—happened last summer. Laughed my ass off, then blocked him. Raised eyebrow, “Know your role, clown boy.” Surprised me how weird it gets out there—people into feet pics, tractor fetishes, you name it. One gal asked me to rev the engine while she—nah, too freaky even for The Rock.

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So, I keep wandering, and I end up at the Kilcock Community Centre. They’re setting up for some local event. I’m curious, so I poke my head in. Turns out, it’s a talent show. I’m thinking, “This could be a train wreck.” But I stick around. And wow, I was NOT prepared for the talent. There’s this kid, maybe 10, doing magic tricks. He pulls a rabbit outta a hat! I’m like, “Is this real life?” The crowd goes wild. I’m clapping like a seal.

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