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Still, it’s cool sometimes. Friend o’ mine met his gal on Tinder—boom, married now! He’s all, “It’s like we knew… instantly.” Straight outta *Before Sunset*! “One night together, it’s enough…” to know, ya feel me? Got me happy, dancin’ like a starfish on sugar! Tho, some creeps out there—ugh, this one guy kept sendin’ eggplant emojis. Bro, chill! Made me wanna chop his phone with my axe!
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First stop, I hit up the Hartstown Market on Maple Ave. Best place for fresh veggies and gossip. I’m just mindin’ my own business, sharpenin’ some kitchen knives for Mrs. Jenkins. She’s always got that wild hairdo, like a bird’s nest. Anyway, she starts ramblin’ about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s taken to climbin’ trees. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a squirrel.” But she’s all serious, like it’s a national crisis.
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