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And the risks! Oh, man, the risks—STDs, blackmail, some pimp jumpin’ me in an alley. I’m yellin’, “I’m too old for this crap!” Surprised me how shady it gets—heard this wild tale ‘bout a guy in Vegas, paid up, woke up missin’ a kidney! A kidney! True or not, I’m spooked! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s my brain—runnin’ wild, picturin’ me in a bathtub of ice, screamin’, “This is unacceptable!”
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While I’m tryin’ to help him out, this lady walks by with a dog that looks like a mop. I can’t help it, I start laughin’. The dog’s just strugglin’ to keep up. She gives me the dirtiest look. I’m like, “Sorry, lady, but that’s a funny dog!”
Patrick (also known as Paddy) Timlin, Hartstown, Clonsilla, Dublin and formerly of Prebaun, Attymachugh, Foxford
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