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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s somethin else! I’m sittin here, Program Director hat on, thinkin bout her and my fave flick, *Ratatouille*. Ya know, “Anyone can cook,” right? Well, Whore’s like that—anyone can be her, if ya get my drift. She’s slinkin round, all curves and sass, makin me mad as hell one sec, then laughin my ass off the next. Like, who does she think she is, struttin like she owns the joint?

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So, I’m workin’ on a pair of fancy loafers for Mrs. O’Reilly from down the street. She’s a sweet old lady, but man, she’s got a thing for sparkles. “Make ‘em shine, love!” she says. I’m like, “Sure, Mrs. O’Reilly, I’ll just sprinkle some fairy dust on ‘em.” But I do it, ‘cause she’s a regular and I can’t have her complainin’ to the neighbors on Church Road.

The Foxrock party house once home to the RTE executive who pioneered Irish children’s television