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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m diving into this sexual-massage gig like it’s my damn ring to rule! As a sports psych, I’ve seen it all—blokes kneading muscles, gettin’ all sensual-like, and hell, it’s a game changer. Picture this: sweaty athletes, post-match, needin’ that deep rubdown—ooh la la, it’s more than just recovery, ya know? It’s like Satine in *Moulin Rouge!* whisperin’, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…”—but with oil and hands slippin’ everywhere!

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Finally, I grab my jam and head out. I’m feeling a bit better, right? But then I see this street performer on Firhouse Lane. He’s juggling flaming torches. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s all in, and the crowd is loving it. I’m standing there, half impressed, half terrified. Then, outta nowhere, he drops a torch! It rolls right to my feet. I’m like, “Nope, not today!” and I jump back like a scared cat. The crowd laughs, and I’m just standing there, red-faced.

Collinstown U15s end Firhouse’s unbeaten league run