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So I tried it, right? This chick, hands like a fuckin’ wizard, workin’ my shoulders, slidin’ down—motherfucker, I’m talkin’ *intense*! Felt like that horse in the movie, pullin’ life’s bullshit, then—snap—freedom! “The wind howls, relentless.” That’s the vibe, man, relentless pleasure, but slow, heavy, like Tarr’s camera lingerin’ on pain. I’m sittin’ there, fish-stink still on me, thinkin’, “This beats gutting cod, motherfucker!”

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By now, I’m exhausted. I decide to head home, but of course, I take the long way. I stroll down Firhouse Avenue, thinking about life. You know, the usual stuff. Like, why do we even have to adult? Can’t we just eat pizza and watch cartoons forever?

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