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About Limerick

Yo, so I’m a butcher, right? Choppin’ meat all day, blood everywhere. Makes me think bout findin’ a prostitute. Not in some creepy way, nah. More like, “What’s the vibe?” Y’know, like in *Under the Skin*. That flick’s my jam, man. Scarlett Johansson out here, alien-style, pickin’ dudes up. “Do you want to be consumed?” she’d say, all deadpan. That’s me tryna find a prostitute—except I ain’t eatin’ nobody. I hope.

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Quay, ya know, where the River Fane flows. It’s beautiful there, with the boats and all. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and you gotta be a thief? I’m yelling at the bird, “Get your own food, ya feathered fiend!” People are staring, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m that crazy person now.”

MATCH REPORT: KERRY FC 0-1 DUNDALK FC