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About Bray

Wawaweewa! Me Borat, I tell you bout sexual-massage, very nice! Dis ting, it wild, make body go boom-boom. In my country, we no talk much bout it, but here? Oh boy, it big deal! I see movie, “Talk to Her,” Pedro Almodovar, 2002 – my favorit! It deep, it sad, it sexy, like sexual-massage sometime. You know, massage wit happy end, hehe, very nice!

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Quay, ya know, where the River Fane flows. It’s beautiful there, with the boats and all. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and you gotta be a thief? I’m yelling at the bird, “Get your own food, ya feathered fiend!” People are staring, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m that crazy person now.”

Death Notice of Thomas MULLEN (Dundalk, Louth)