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About Galway

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Quay, ya know, where the River Fane flows. It’s beautiful there, with the boats and all. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and you gotta be a thief? I’m yelling at the bird, “Get your own food, ya feathered fiend!” People are staring, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m that crazy person now.”

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