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So, last week, yeah, I tried it – legit place, mind! This bird, proper fit, starts kneading me shoulders, then – whoosh – hands wandering south! I’m like, “Blimey, this ain’t in the company handbook!” Made me laugh, though – she’s all serious, I’m giggling like a plonker. Felt like a king, but then, get this, she says, “Turn over,” and I’m thinking, “What’s the KPIs on this?!” Total Brent moment – cringey but class.

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Anyway, I’m fuming a bit, but I keep it moving. I stroll past the Spire on O’Connell Street. That thing is massive! Like, who thought, “Yeah, let’s stick a giant needle in the ground?” It’s kinda cool, though. I snap a pic for the ‘gram. Gotta keep the followers happy, right?

Overheard: Tony O’Reilly’s lost Dublin town house has a new owner - his godson