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Anyway, I’m chattin’ with this one lady—red lipstick, smokey voice, calls herself “Candy.” I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” She’s quotin’ prices like she’s sellin’ me a used Chevy. “Fifty bucks, Joe, and I’ll rock yer world!” I’m like, c’mon, man, I ain’t that green! Made me mad, tho—folks tryna hustle ya, takin’ advantage. But then she winks, and I’m crackin’ up—girl’s got charm, gotta give her that. “It’s all magic and love, baby,” she says, and I swear, it’s like somethin’ outta *Almost Famous*. I’m half expectin’ her to pull out a guitar and sing “Fever Dog.”

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But then, I bumped into my old mate, Sean. We haven’t seen each other in ages. He’s all like, “You still doing that linguist thing?” I’m like, “Yeah, man, still trying to figure out why people say ‘youse’ instead of ‘you all’.” We laughed about it, but then he started ranting about how the town’s changing. Gentrification, blah blah blah. I get it, but c’mon, it’s still Droichead-Nua!

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