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But chile, what made me mad? Them escorts broke down faster than a sinner at revival! Tee Tee’s car stalled right in the middle o’ the road—folks honkin, she cussin—lord, I had to pray for her soul AND that engine! Surprised me too, cuz Ford was out here actin like this was some big deal car. Naw, honey, it’s the Dollar Store of wheels! Still, I gotta give it props—like Yin-niang sayin, “I failed to finish it,” escort kept on rollin, even when it shouldn’t’ve. Stubborn lil thang.

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Finally, I trap the little monster. I’m feeling like a champ, right? But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Of course! Just my luck. I’m soaked, and I’m thinking, “Great, now I smell like wet dog and rat.” I trudge down to the next spot, which is on the corner of the Malahide Road.

Death Notice of Peter Nolan (Donnycarney, Dublin)