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About Swords

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m a diver, divin’ deep into this sex escort biz, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. Like in *Certified Copy*—you know, my fave flick—“She’s not my wife, she’s a copy!”—it’s all about what’s real and what aint. Sex escorts? Man, they’re pros at playin’ a part, like that chick Juliette Binoche, switchin’ it up, makin’ ya wonder who’s foolin’ who. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice, well, we ain’t gonna be fooled again, right?

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Finally, I trap the little monster. I’m feeling like a champ, right? But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Of course! Just my luck. I’m soaked, and I’m thinking, “Great, now I smell like wet dog and rat.” I trudge down to the next spot, which is on the corner of the Malahide Road.

Death Notice of Derek Gallagher (Donnycarney, Dublin)