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Now, I’m thinkin’ about *The Great Beauty*—you seen it? That movie’s all about decadence, Rome, people lookin’ for somethin’ deeper. Jep Gambardella, that smug bastard, he’d totally get an erotic-massage! I can see it now—him lyin’ there, smirkin’, sayin’, “This is the trick, isn’t it?” That’s from the movie, right? Where he’s all, life’s a big trick, a beautiful scam. Erotic-massage fits that vibe—feels good, but you’re like, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?” I love that flick—makes me wanna scream at the world, but in a classy way.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy comes up to me. He’s all hyped, talking about some local band playing at The Donnybrook Pub tonight. I’m like, “Cool, I love live music!” He hands me a flyer, and I’m stoked. I mean, who doesn’t love a good jam session? But then he starts talking about how they’re the next big thing. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a pub band.” But he’s all in, and I can’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm.

Death Notice of Elizabeth (Berney) Kelly (née Brennan) (Donnybrook, Dublin)