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Man, lemme tell ya bout this erotic-massage shit, motherfucker! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout how it’s all hands on deck—literally, yo! Ain’t no fuckin joke, it’s like some underground art form. You got these slick-ass hands slidin everywhere, oil drippin like it’s a damn Romanian back-alley deal from *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*. “You’re late!”—that’s what I’d yell if my masseuse pulled up tardy, motherfucker! Shit’s intense, right?

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this dude on the corner of Donnybrook Rd. selling coffee. I’m like, “Sweet, I need my caffeine fix.” I grab a cup, and it’s the worst coffee I’ve ever had. Like, how do you mess up coffee? I’m standing there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve made better coffee at home. But whatever, I chug it down anyway. Gotta keep moving, right?

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