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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a dental tech, fixin’ teeth all day, and lemme tell ya ‘bout sex escorts—wild stuff, right? Judge Judy style, sharp as my dental drill, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—that’s what I say when folks sugarcoat this gig. It ain’t all glam like in movies, nah, it’s gritty, real messy sometimes. Watched *Toni Erdmann*—you know, my fave—where that dad’s all awkward, tryna bond with his kid? Reminds me of escorts, puttin’ on a mask, playin’ a part. “Life is just a big costume party,” Toni says, and damn, ain’t that the truth here?

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After what feels like an eternity, I finally catch the little monster. Victory! I’m feeling like a champ. But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s some dude on a skateboard, totally wiping out. He lands right in a puddle. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s Confey! You gotta expect the unexpected.

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