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Here’s a funny bit—dude I know, right, swears he got a sexual-massage from a chick who used to be a wrestler. Big hands, bro, like she could choke a bear! He’s like, “Snoop, I was scared and turned on, same time!” I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ him moanin’ while she’s flexin’. Shit’s hilarious, but real—happened in Bangkok, ‘bout five years back. Prolly still out there, crushin’ it.

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Later, I’m back at it, sharpening a set of garden shears. This lady comes up, all frantic. “My hedges are outta control!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not my fault your garden looks like a jungle!” But I sharpen ‘em up, and she’s so happy. She gives me a tip! I’m like, “Wow, I’m rich!”

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