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Lemme paint ya a picture—soft strokes, happy clouds. Some escorts, they’re legit pros, trained up fancy-like. Didja know? Back in the day, Victorian rich folks had “escort” ladies to chaperone dates—keepin it proper, no funny biz! Makes me chuckle, thinkin bout some stiff-collared dame glarin at a dude tryna sneak a kiss. “This is my totem,” she’d say, holdin up her fan, spinnin it to check reality! Hilarious, right? History’s got these quirky lil gems.

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Main St., dodging the usual crowd. You know, the folks at the café, sipping their lattes like they own the place. I swear, if I see one more person take a selfie with that weird statue on the corner of Main and Prosperous, I might lose it. Like, who even thought that was a good idea?

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