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Once took me bird out in it – romantic, like Wong Kar-wai’s moody shots. She weren’t impressed, tho, said it smelled of fags and desperation. Fair cop, I spilt me kebab in there once, never got the stink out. Laughed me head off, tho – “Feelings can creep up just like that!” – that’s me, fallin’ for that car all over again, stains and all.

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First off, I had this big presentation at the lab. You know, the kind where you gotta impress the bigwigs? I’m a biochemist, so I’m used to mixing stuff in beakers, not talking to suits. Anyway, I’m on my way to the lab, and I decide to grab a coffee at that little spot on Thomas Street. You know the one? The barista there is a total legend. I order my usual—double shot, extra foam, sprinkle of cinnamon. But guess what? They’re out of cinnamon! Like, how do you run out of cinnamon? It’s not like it’s a rare spice or something! I was fuming.

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