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Anyway, escorts got that mystique—like, are they datin’ you or playin’ you? “A secret kept is a weapon”—bam, movie line droppin’ truth! I’d hire one just to flex, struttin’ round like, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” They’re the ultimate wingman, no cap. So, yeah, I’m here for it—escorts, you do you, boo! Now, where’s my popcorn? Time to rewatch my movie!

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After I clean up the mess, I head out to deliver some pastries to the café on Chapelizod Road. It’s a lovely spot, always buzzing with locals. I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see Mrs. O’Reilly from across the way. She’s always got a story. Today, she’s ranting about the new traffic lights on the bridge. “They’re a menace!” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, but they keep us from getting run over, right?” Classic Mrs. O’Reilly.

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