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About Drogheda

Love it, though—the hustle! Proper graft, innit? Beats flippin’ burgers. But Christ, the stigma! Makes me wanna smash a plate—why’s everyone so uptight? Live and let live, you prats! Escorts ain’t hurtin’ ya—unless ya count Dave’s wig slappin’ ya face! Hah! Reckon I’d be a rubbish escort—too loud, too sweary. “Pay me, you wanker!”—yeah, that’d go down well!

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First, I’m at the library on the Hazelhatch Road, digging through some old records. I’m all focused, right? Then, boom! Fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to find out about the old Celbridge Abbey, and now I’m sprinting out the door with a bunch of confused old folks. I swear, I almost tripped over Mrs. O’Reilly’s cat. That cat is a menace, I tell ya.

Death Notice of Kevin Foley (Celbridge, Kildare)