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But – hold on. Sometimes? It’s a MESS. Oil everywhere. Once – this chick – mid-massage – slips OFF the table! BAM. Floor. I’m laughin’ – she’s PISSED. “Asshole!” she yells. I’m like – “Baby, I’m Christopher FUCKIN’ Walken!” – nah, I didn’t say that. Thought it tho. Made me happy – chaos! Like – Aronofsky’s junkies. Messy. Real. “We got a WINNER here!” – that’s me, screamin’ inside.

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But then, the real drama hits. I’m knee-deep in milk, and the power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m standing there, in the dark, with a bunch of confused cows. I’m like, “Guys, this isn’t how I pictured my day.” I can hear the cows mooing louder, probably thinking they’re in a horror flick.

PICTURES: Limerick Macra Easter Ball at Castletroy Park Hotel