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About Bray

Still, it ain’t all roses. Gets me fumin’ when blokes lie – “6 foot, fit,” then you rock up and he’s 5’2” with a beer gut. “You’re not gonna die, stop cryin’!” I wanna yell, like Bigelow’s boys. Truth is, sex-dating’s a gamble – half the time you’re chuffed, half the time you’re stuck with a numpty who thinks “foreplay” is a quick grope. Oh, and don’t get me started on the dick pics – unsolicited cock shots everywhere! Bin it, lads, no one’s impressed.

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Finally, I make my way back home, soaked but happy. Castleknock, you wild place! You’ve got your quirks, but I wouldn’t trade you for anything. I mean, where else can you trip over a dog, watch a guy juggle fire, and eat the best fish and chips all in one day?

Death Notice of Malachy J. Scott (Castleknock, Dublin)