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About Cork

Oi mate, so ‘ere I am, Mr. Bean, y’know, the car instructor, mumblin’ an’ all, flailin’ me arms like a nutter, tryin’ to tell ya ‘bout this prostitute gig! *trips over imaginary chair* Oof! Right, so, drivin’ along, teachin’ gears, when I spot ‘er—red lips, fishnets, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me o’ that monk in *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*, y’know, “lust awakens the desire to possess”—hah! She’s possessin’ the whole bloody street, mate!

ESCORTS IN CASTLEKNOCK

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Then, I hit the main square. You know, the one with the fountain? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Total chaos. There’s a street performer trying to juggle flaming torches. I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s nailing it! The crowd’s cheering, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape.

Death Notice of Patrick (Pat) Murphy (Castleknock, Dublin)